Men’s Guide For Sliding Into the DM’s
I just want to say newsflash: DMs work.
Like low key, I think people sometimes doubt DMs. I have dated multiple guys that have first slid into my DMs. That’s just a little insight over here that we want to give you. Also, not to get sappy with it but all I can say is everyone out there that isn’t shooting their shot because they’re afraid they’re going to get rejected left and right or they’re going to get left on scene. Fuck that dude. Who gives a shit. Guys go for it. You’ll just have nothing to lose nothing. I mean, think about approaching a girl in person. That’s scary. Getting rejected when you’re in person. That’s scary. If I was a dude, I would be sending DMS like it was my job.
You should like unsend it and then re send it like what you’re just you’re on a phone who gives a fuck? Sophia and I are like talking about this. There’s a couple things that we want to get guys are a little bit of insight in here.
Okay, what can guys do the first thing that is imperative for them to possibly get answered? If they send a DM go.
First thing is your profile. Within seconds of you sending the DM, the first thing she’s going to do is go and look at your profile. That’s the first thing like think about yourself. When a guy is sliding into DMS. He’s like, let me see what this girl’s ass and tits look like. Well the girls do the same fucking thing right. So hello. They need to make sure you’re not a serial killer, etc. Absolutely. Okay, so profiles.
Do’s And Dont’s of a Instagram Profile
No Car Photos
My number one thing do not post a picture of your fucking cars. I don’t want to see your Mazda, alright. I just don’t want to see it even if it’s a goddamn Maserati. No, I do not want to see what kind of car you have. Leave it up to my imagination when you pick me up on the first date motherfucker. The picture with the guy like leaned back on the hood of his BMW. I’m like dying. I am dead Get the fuck out of my face if you ever post that I’m getting out of there. Yeah, I don’t want to see it. It’s the worst form of a flex guys. No one gives a shit what kind of car you own. I don’t care or really any inanimate object that you own, okay. Your hats, your shoes, fake Rolex, Oh even if it’s a real Rolex again, I don’t care No. Oh, the wad of cash.
Get the fuck out of my face.
No Photo Shoots and Solo Shots
Next thing we were talking about is how you were just saying you know guys sitting on his car. Let me just tell you guys, male photoshoots, unless you were a goddamn IMG model. I do not want to see you posting solo shots on Instagram. It is not cute. You’re not doing an ad for Fashionnova. Like I know there are thots on Instagram but that is where us thots live and we breathe and we make money. Maybe it’s just a fact girls can do certain things on Instagram that guys absolutely have no business doing.
There are guys that are posting solo shots of themselves and they’re having their friend or whoever. I don’t want to take these pictures even a selfie from a guy okay. Yeah, you know, let me just tell you guys, if you’re like well, I don’t know, I’m telling you right now to go delete every single solo shot because when I tell you Sophia was sleeping with this guy, and we thought he was kind of cool. I will never forget there was a morning Sophia and I both woke up and we woke up to seeing that he threw up a goddamn solo shot. We both DM’d it to each other at one point. We walk out and you literally verbatim said I will never sleep with that man. This picture made it so clear to me that this guy will never be entering me again ever. So stop with the solo shot.
No Fish Pictures
Let’s talk about the fishes. Okay, okay, fucking knock it off with the pictures of the fish you caught. Okay, I’m done. Pick one. We’re gonna allow you to post one pick the biggest fish you ever fucking caught and if you really feel need to have all of them put it in your little fishy album and take it to bed with you. Okay, give it to your grandmother or get a fish tank.
Show A Social Life
Okay, moving on. So there’s a lot Okay, we’re shitting on guys, listen, there are things you can do that can be positive. And first I want to say and this is something we both agree on. If you guys are posting pictures with friends with family showing you a goddamn motherfucking social life, throw that shit up. Okay, that shows one.
Let me tell you girls look to stalk you. And it’s like, okay, Are you hot? Are you cool? Are you whatever, but when they also go to your profile, they’re looking to see if you have friends that their friends can also hang with. So whenever I go, I’m like, oh, Sophia, like who are you talking to? Is he hot? And then you’re like, yeah, look how hot his friends are. I’m like, okay, damn, like, like that’s, that’s what girls naturally think about.
So guys, if you can post cool pictures with your friends when you’re out, whatever you’re doing. Yeah, those pictures. Also, though, do not please throw up every picture of you guys out of fucking frat party with alcohol at your keg with your fucking. Bud Light right? We don’t want to be like, oh well my future husband who will be in prison. I know within
a year I should have seen that he was an alcoholic real quick. So there you go.
Let’s talk about the wardrobe. Listen, we do some research sometimes we were stalking on Instagram and some guys have no fucking idea and not just because like dude, I already told you I swear to god my brother would not be dating the girl that he’s dating right now had it not been right helping him out and right back to where I think the number one thing with your wardrobe is get a pair of well fitted jeans. Yeah, that’s huge. Get him in every color. And rockin well you know what Sophia? Can we talk about what pants not to fucking wear?
Khaki shorts or pants = leave me and my family alone.– Sofia
Knock it off. Knock it off. Every person right now. If you own khaki pants burn them. I don’t know. Hurry up because you had a high school dress code. Well, I don’t care. Whatever private school you’re going to you and if they’re making you weat them, drop
Because loafers don’t knock it up.– Alex
Get out of my face. High top Jordan’s knock it off. Knock it off okay. If I saw Jordans at a bar with khaki pants, I’ve seen it and I want to die. I want to die.
Get yourself a nice pair of jeans and I think if I was okay listen I’m not going to shit on people that were button downs because I know people in the south are way more preppy. Yeah, I personally think it’s so fucking hot when a guy wears like a V neck t shirt or if he throws on like a casual like long sleeve hoodie. Yeah. Or like a crewneck something. Keep it casual. The button down especially in like a bar setting. No, dude, I’m like realizing Alex, girls and guys have to almost worry about their profile more than girls because all guys care about is how hot the girl is. If the girl has no picture with friends, doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. You could be a serial killer. Only pictures of yourself. Doesn’t matter.
You could be wearing the most hideous outfit or not or doesn’t matter. That’s actually post a picture of her back in a car that she’s been driving since high school that has a broken window doesn’t matter. You’re right. So guys, if you’re actually struggling with your outfits, when you’re going out to bars, you’re going to do what I do with my brother. DM Sophia, and I pictures of what you’re about to wear. I’ll probably answer you because we have nothing else to do with our lives. So hopefully that gives you a little bit of insight of what you should be wearing.
What To Talk About?
Okay, let’s talk about what to say. Let’s just say I think the number one no no, is saying hi.
No, unless you have a blue fuckin checkmark. The hi will never work. And let’s be honest, none of us have a blue checkmark. Like people will say hi, or the worst one that I think it’s so obvious. I can see through it when they’re like, um, hey, I need you. I need to ask you a question. Oh, obviously all you want me to do is accept your dm and you don’t have a question. You’re just trying to clickbait me. Yeah, I know what clickbait is motherfuckers and I’m not responding to it. Okay, let me also tell you guys sexual. Sexual comes with time. Do not first DM them a sexual dm. Yeah, guys, this is what you need to do. The humor is where it’s at. Oh, totally agree. And I’m more of a sucker for it than most girls like I think she’s like, What is wrong with you? An example because this happened to me not that long ago and I want to give a shout out to my friend Phil. I will be texting you soon. This guy sends me this dm and it ends with you know what? I’ve got the bill, you’ve got the Phil. Because his name is Phil. Fucking he felt like he fell that’s kind of savage but at the same time I hate it.
I honestly probably wouldn’t like that. But Sophia will.
Someone logged into Sofia’s DMs about the beaver joke. So Oh, here’s another one that I thought was brilliant. He said Girl are you a beaver? I was like no. And he was like cuz damn Sophia. You realize the pickup lines you think are the most endearing literally you just Google. He meant like a beaver dam.
Okay, no I agree though the humor I had a guy slide in once and it was like a it was like a big Melissa McCarthy coming down this slide. And he like said something about Oh, I’m sliding in. Yeah, it’s fun. A gif is always great. But can I say? I personally think of all the DMS I’ve ever gotten. I think the most effective way to dm a girl is responding to one of her stories. Oh yeah, like that is the way to do it. Yes, it’s way it’s it just makes it less creepy automatic, less creepy, but also more personal because you’re having to respond to something that she is obviously doing with her life and you need to make it funny. Yes, and you’re acknowledging something that she found like interesting or something she found funny and it’s almost like you’re agreeing with it. Absolutely. Yeah, so I’m sorry this section wasn’t as crazy but I think we had to address it. We had to like this is real life guys. I have dated multiple people from DMs. Yes, this isn’t made up.