The Guide For Nudes

The Guide For Nudes

Sending Nudes

Nudes and the iCloud do not mix. I state that because listen up folks if you send an old nude and the person saves it, which they 1,000% will, they can see the date that you originally took the photo. Okay, so aka if you took it back in December, they will see it and you are exposed. Game fucking over folks. So let’s break it down a little bit more.

Okay, imagine the situation. You are in bed. You’re telling this guy or thinking about him and you need to send a nude ASAP. Okay, things are getting heated. You got your fucking pimple cream on. Your glasses are on. Lights are out. You’re ready to knock the fuck out. All right. Sophia, what do we do? We and everyone else listening results to sending that old nude that you know is great. Everyone has that fucking old fire as nude that they have ready to go. Locked and fucking loaded.

All right, so you find your old nude and you’re ready to send and then what? All right, so this is the most important part and everybody listen up. It is fucking imperative that you screenshot the original nude and then proceed and go send the screenshotted version of the nude with the new date or the cloud will fuck you. 

Wow. Uh, okay. I think at this point, you need to fucking explain to them how we found this genius revelation. Now how did we find out?

Alright, let me let me explain. So how we found this out, is my ex called me the fuck out because he was basically said he was saving the pic. He was saving it to his iPod and then he went to look at it. And he couldn’t find it on that date because his shit was in the memory options. Where it goes by date. 

He’s trying to scroll the fuck up and meanwhile I was no longer in that month. I was chilling in fucking January. I’m like oh fuck and it was so fucking awkward. It was horrible and he was like what the fuck was that pic for another guy? Are you reusing nudes? Blah blah blah and of course I’m a fucking psycho I came up with most genius response and he’s an idiot and believe me and it doesn’t matter. 

Now I think it’s so funny you and I were talking about this the other day because guys, have now sent me pictures and the other week specifically a guy sent me a pic and I saved it to my phone. People don’t know where this psycho and where this calculated. So the guy sent me a pic and it was really hot as shit. I’m like, oh my god, you’re great. I save it and the poor guy. I realized that he took the picture a week before. God only knows how many girls got that god damn picture within that week? 

Yeah, so you know what the moral of story is be fucking careful and watch your credibility people. Like don’t get sloppy here people I mean, I know half the people you’re probably sending it to are like so done that they would even notice but protect your name out there folks. It’s scary out there.


I think it would be really fun to test this so everyone go. I want you to save pictures that people have sent you, even if it’s selfies, etc. Go and click the memories option. See if you can catch any fucking people that were faking that day. I want everyone to check and if you find people and you’re exposing them please go right into and let us know.

We are about to ruin relationships straight up. People are gonna be like, what the fuck? My girlfriend took that two fucking years ago and it’s her goat and I love how we just fucking breeze past the fact that your ex was so open.


If you think that your nudes are not being saved to the iPad, iPod, my iPod Touch my Apple Watch my Kindle, the fucking hard drive to the hard drive. Backup the hard drive the hard drive of the hard drive. It’s so true. It goes back to the truth that guys worship these things. Okay? They will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever delete the motherfucking news and I’m telling you this even and I feel bad because at least we weren’t. We’re fucking jaded over here. 

The thing is girls, and I hate to break your heart. If you’re in a committed relationship, it doesn’t matter. Guys are keeping those nudes and even if they have to send that shit, because if you’re a nosy girlfriend, they’re gonna send that folder to one of their homeboys and they’re gonna keep it for them. But at the end of the day, those nudes exist and they’re here to stay.

Hashtag nudes never die. Like guys are literally like, “God, take my eyes. but not my nudes.” A guy will lose his family photo albums, government issued ID, social security card, passport, birth certificates before he fucking loses and deletes all of the nudes and the secret album on his phone. It’s just like, dude. Yeah, like we talked about the other day. My fucking ex told me the first thing he did when he broke up is he deleted my nudes.

Oh fucking Oh. I literally needless to say, we kind of had a sexual reconnection for a hot minute a few months after and he sent me a picture of myself and he wrote and he was like, Oh my god, like, this is my favorite fucking one of you. Meanwhile, I’m like, bitch, you said that it was gone. Good try. 

Nudes live on forever and fuck that shit.

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