Bad Dick Reviews

Bad Dick Reviews

Last week, Sophia and I went out with a group of our girlfriends for a wine filled dinner. It was really fun. And then in the middle of dinner, a guy that Sophia used to hook up with a few months ago, he walks in. And I’m not gonna lie Sophia like, he’s a fucking head turner. Like, he checks out all the boxes. He a young surgeon, he’s tall, good looking, scrub like he’s a whole fucking package. So he walks in and our entire table was uninterrupted and we went back to eating. And do you know why that is guys? And let me fucking tell you. It’s not because he and Sophia hooked up a couple months ago. No, I mean, truthfully, anyone could hook up with him and I’d be like, Godspeed. Go for it. Yeah, no strings attached. 

You know what it was?

Sorry. I’m laughing. It’s because Sophia gave him a B.D.R. and the BDR is fucking career suicide. Sophia, what is a BDR? 

The BDR is a bad dick review. 

There is nothing more focused than a group of girls on a Sunday in their apartment at brunch in the group chat getting the most specific and in-depth detail of what the fuck went down in his room that night. Yeah, information travels so fucking fast with girls like it’s crazy. Yeah, and when it comes to a bad dick review, guys, it’s close to impossible to recover from that. It’s detrimental and it literally could single-handedly derail your chances of getting fucked in that social circle ever again. No, seriously, it’s like, what happened? 

Okay, let’s just talk about this. What guys don’t understand is that girls generally, we care about who we have sex with. Like new bodies are a big fucking deal. Yeah, so nothing is worse than liking someone new having sex. And it’s fucking over in five minutes with no round two. 

Like it’s depressing. Oh my god is the physical equivalent to a fucking heartbreak. 

I know guys that go into sex only caring about themselves. They only care about their nuts. Yeah. And let me just say, that’s cool. Like that’s fine if that’s how you have sex. Guys, what we want to emphasize right now is how impactful a good dick review is if she runs back to her entire group of friends and tells them how she got absolutely pounded by you. What do you think that does for their friends perception of you like dude? 

Contrary to popular belief, and I’m just being completely honest, not all girls find you off limits after you fuck their friend. He can look fucking good. He can talk smooth, but if he cannot fuck, girls would rather fuck the guy with the dad bod than the jock with a nice body that can’t fuck. It’s just fucking true. You cannot come back from a bad dick review.